Hashing was not something I got into easily. Whilst working for Dallah Avco in Saudi during the mid eighties I worked with a guy called Bill Kearns ("don't call me Billy") who kept going on about the Hash. When told that they "like to run" I immediately put the barriers up and didn't want to know. But over a period of time I found my weekends extremely boring and eventually decided to accept Billy's offer of a lift to the Hash and what greeted me was something that has been in my blood ever since.

It was very rare that I would miss the weekend meet and found myself visiting the two other Hashes in Saudi and it soon became a large part of my life out there. I especially enjoyed the comradeship with the accompanying social circles. Not only that part but with time I found myself lighter and fitter and one of the highlights of my time there was the Riyadh Marathon, which I completed in 4 hours and 21 minutes. I still treasure the medal.

Some of the people were superb. They really made the whole experience an "experience". The people who made it special for me include Leo "Doc" and Anne Fischer, Mary “Gobby Tart” Place, Mary “Dragon” Crickard, Doug Bilinsky, Billy Kearns, Malcolm Taylor, Pat Hillman, Ken McGuiness, Mac McCormick,

I became Joint Master with Dragon in 1988 and we had some terrific fun. It gave me great pleasure to be a leading role in the Megamob and Dragon's partnership made it a special time.

Why did I move on? In 1989, during a run with the Road Runners one evening, I managed to down down a few nippy sweeties in the diplomatic quarter and ended up having a blow out and bumping the car on the way to the apartment. I pulled over and a third country national offered help, which I declined. Unfortunately he phoned the local constabulary saying this expat's breath smelled funny. Before I could change the wheel the blue and white lights were flashing and I was nicked. Handcuffed and shackled it was off to clinic for a blood test and then thrown in the clink. I was there for two weeks.

Those two weeks were not my most memorable experience in Saudi and I could write a few paragraphs about that time alone. Suffice it to say that I was not treated as badly as some of the other characters in there. I did manage to get through the long hour upon hour with the constant visits and gifts of food from my fellow Hashers and was finally released because one of them worked for the brother of the governor of Riyadh. One day I had a visit and was told that I would be out the next day. Sure enough, the next day I was out. Trouble is, Cable & Wireless didn't show any compassion and booted me out of the country. Bastards!

That was a turning point in my life which, now I look back, was not a bad thing to have happened. I went straight back out to the Middle East though, this time to Oman where I found the Jebel Hash. What a bunch of animals. There were no holds barred in this hash and they were the ones to christen me Fannyrat. I have to thank Chris “Gobby Stopper” Thackwray for the handle because he “always wanted to call someone that”.

We hashed everywhere along the coast and inland but one of the most interesting was the underground Hash. We were taken down a fifty-foot funnel into a large cave and the trail led through low channels to other caves and back again. Eventually we had to all scramble out because the barbeques were causing so much smoke we were in danger of being asphyxiated.

Another interesting event was at a camp a load of us went on which turned out to be almost a disaster. There had been the rains for a while and the rivers had filled from their normal dry condition and we were unable to cross one of them. This meant that we pulled over and camped up at an unknown beach but it seemed okay. After a good nights drinking session one of the guys climbed out of his tent and walked into the water for the call of nature. Unbeknown to us the beach we had chosen happened to have the largest conglomeration of Stone Fish in the gulf. And Stone Fish have an extremely toxic poison in their spines. You guessed it, he stood on one and was spiked. The screams could be heard for miles and he was whisked away to the nearest village. On the way a local was accosted and once he understood what has happened the journey was shifted to a hospital that was not too far away. They were there within twenty minutes of him standing on this fish but by then he was unconscious. Fortunately the hospital staff were very quick with their reactions and he was pumped with anti-toxin and morphine. It took two weeks for him to recover enough to come out of hospital and even longer to regain the full feeling in his leg.

In 1990 the Jebel Hash organised the Gulf Interhash and I'm proud to say I was part of the committee and thoroughly enjoyed the whole three days, or at least the bits I can remember. I was responsible for the Hash Mags for the weekend, one printed by a local firm and the other on five photocopiers when no one was looking. On the last day the Riyadh Megamob members carried out the ritual of “gungeing” on me as the farewell tribute from Saudi that I missed due to leaving in such a hurry.

Again, I met many terrific people, amongst them Chris “Flying Fuck” Tofield, Wendy “Micro-orgasm”, Lena and Graham, Gobby Tart again, Joe "Wetback" Koen, Chris Wibbly Wobbly and Sue, Tim “Open Crotch Panties” and “Cunnilingus”, Brian “Gattling-gob” Garaway and Caz, Paul Wombwell, Steve "Stunted Horn" Norris, Chris “Gobby Stopper” Thackwray, Pat & Anne "Cesspit & SuckCess" O'Neil, Melvin Scott, Pox Doctors Clerk, “Chunda”, Fearless Fred and many others.

I now run with the Cambridge Hash and although they are a lot milder than what I was used to it's still a good bunch of people.

During the past fifteen years I have been fortunate to have joined in with the following Hashes: